Brett Kirk and Noel Fielding: one a swan, one a peacock. Both with great hair.

We spend a lot of time in the Presentation Night offices thinking about the poetry of our great game, the similarities between a life spent pursuing an oval shaped ball and the perfect song, the sense of belonging that comes from being in a team or a band, and many other noble considerations of this nature.

On a slightly more superficial level ‘though, we also love a great haircut. ‘Barnets’, ‘dos’, call them what you will, when someone in the professional footballing world steps outside of the usual accepted follicular parameters of their era, it’s a cause for celebration. With the recent alarming proliferation of the topknot this early in the season, we’ve been reminiscing fondly about what we believe is right up there with the very best gentlemen’s cut ever to grace the game.

In our humble opinion, if there was a Swans Hall of Fame for haircuts alone, Brett Kirk would be sitting up there at number one (daylight number 2, Graham Teasdale in at 3). In addition to Kirk’s fearless playing style and his ability to will his team mates on to incredible deeds through his on-field example, one of the great joys of watching him take to the park each week was always that magnificent feather cut. More reminiscent of Rod Stewart in 1973 than a modern day footballer, it brought some genuine style to the field. By simply observing the direction of it’s pre-game ruffle, the humble spectator could tell if the wind was favouring the Randwick or Paddington end of the SCG.

Kirk proved (and continues to prove) himself to be one of the most enlightened, thoughtful and progressive thinkers in the game. All of which would be great in isolation, but add a mop on top that wouldn’t have been out of place in the classic Faces line up laying down ‘Miss Judy’s Farm’ and we believe that if footballing ability and sartorial sensibility above the shoulders are taken into account, Kirk may well be the most complete footballer ever to play the game. (It goes without saying that we, as aesthetes, believe that the ‘do’ should be taken into account not only with regard to Brownlow voting, but NAB Rising Star and Coleman Medal contention as well.)


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